So, when are you coming back?

Last weekend I went back to Milan for a long weekend. I engaged in the usual activities, including going out with old friends, eating my body weight in prosciutto and avoiding the infamous question “So, when are you coming back?”. This is a question I’ve been asked countless times in the past three and a half years, and yet it still succeeds to surprise me. That’s where I have to improvise an answer based on the mood of the day rather than on solid plans for the future. So here you have a few selected variants on the theme of “So, when are you coming back?”.

  • You know, the idea is to come back at some point, but I wanna store some more experience, so that I’ll be able to come back to Italy and do what I want. Sorry what? What is it that I want to do precisely? Uhm, what’s the next question?
  • Here I am. I’m back. I’ve decided I’ll miss my plane tomorrow, I can’t no longer live a life where prosciutto is not a daily feature of my existence.
  • Well, I am not sure but I should start thinking about it, considering that my, once really broad, Italian vocabulary is shrinking, apparently so dramatically that a friend of mine told me she’s worried!
  • Ok, why are you asking me this question, don’t you know that you’re re-triggering my latent and chronic existential crisis, I don’t know when I’m coming back, it’s easy for you, now you made me cry!
  • Never! Now that I am used to living in a country whose inhabitants know how to queue properly and drivers stop at crossings I just can’t go back to the third world that Italy is!

These are just a few picks from a repertoire that is vast and ever expanding, therefore if you are expats too, and have to face the un-mentionable question, let me know your favourite answer, let’s help each other!

modd swings
Me when people ask me “So, when are you coming back?”, (credits to 




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