How to (not) Cook Pasta

Pasta is the typical Italian dish and, I thought, extremely easy to make. Then I moved to London and I found out that there are infinite ways to mess this up. I saw things, that you people wouldn’t believe…

I saw a flatmate trying to put oil in the pasta water, justifying it as a way to not make it stick. Dear flatmate, pasta cooks perfectly fine if you follow the instructions on the cartons, or the preaching of any Italian. If your pasta gets sticky, it’s because you can’t cook it. On the other hand, you might want to put some salt in the boiling water. You’re welcome!

I saw another flatmate putting spaghetti in the boiling water and leaving them standing in the pan because “as they cook they sink”. Now, there are occasions in which we Italians have to silence our inner pastafarian dictator and let the pagans live in sin. That was NOT one of those occasions. The lost soul has now been educated and knows the importance of pushing spaghetti in the water in order to have them evenly cooked.

I saw the same flatmate dressing the pasta directly in the pan where the sauce was cooking and leaving it there for at least five minutes with the fire on. She was doing so good in the beginning but she fell at the end: sautéing pasta with the sauce it’s good, leaving it there to cook for its same cooking time is bad. You might as well eat soup! That day I managed to silence the pastafarian dictator, but I had to leave the room.

All of the above flatmates, whom I thank for the “collaboration”, are now converted. If you do any of the above, now you can embrace salvation or, if you wish to continue, don’t do it in front of an Italian. You’re breaking our heart!

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3 thoughts on “How to (not) Cook Pasta

  1. This is so funny. AND I’m ashamed to say, some comments aren’t entirely foreign to me…. but I’ve amended my ways. Quite simply, one who can’t cook pasta should be forced to eat it cruda!

    Like

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