I have already said that my pronunciation is not, and probably will never be, perfect. Most of the time this little flaw doesn’t affect my linguistic performances and I’ve survived for more than two years without getting in too much trouble. A couple of times though, the faulty pronunciation mixed with a caffeine rush, gave my speech some very ambiguous meaning. So this is to celebrate the time that I said:
- “I love my boots, I wanna fu*k them!” I guess I had shown much more appreciation for those boots than what I intended to, because my original desire was to hug them. Yes, I do understand that even this might sound pretty weird but, in my defense, those boots are simply gorgeous and they deserve love and affection as if they were real people.
- “Last weekend I wanted to buy this pornographic bag…” The shop ran out of it before I could put my hands on it and that was a shame because it would have been the perfect final touch to my clubbing outfit: red lipstick, short skirt and pornographic bag, there’s no way a guy is not gonna hit on you. Or maybe he won’t because the aforementioned bag was a unicorn-shaped holographic clutch and he could think that you’re just retarded. I’d still to buy it, but not for its sexyness… although, that horn…
- “Last year I bought the penis Moleskine.” What can I say, Italians notoriously think only about sex so carrying it in my bag for every single day of the year could sound like something I would do! And of course it would have been a great idea, had Moleskine published one. I already suggested it for 2016, but unfortunately in 2014 I had to be contented with the Peanuts one, aka Snoopy & co. I know, much less exciting.