Beloved Linguistic Flaws

I started studying English when I was 11 years old. It’s been a long journey, made of grammar rules, tests, summer school trips in picturesque villages of the kingdom such a Paignton, Devon, a BA in Foreign Languages and, last but not least, a one-way ticket to London. Still, there are some details that I cannot master, an expression, an exception to the rule, or a damn phrasal verb. I really can’t put up with phrasal verbs, sorry!

I used to think that, at this point of the journey, my English would have been perfect. Like Queen-Elizabeth-Perfect. Now I am big girl and I’ve learnt that there is no such thing as perfection. I therefore accepted my flaws and arbitrarily decided that they will be my linguistic beauty marks. Here I proudly exhibit the most frequent of them.

  • My accent: there is no way to fight it. I have an Italian accent, and so it will be forever and ever, amen. I accept it. I have nothing else to say.
  • Take a decision or make a decision? That is not so obvious to me because, for your information, we Italians don’t make decisions, we take them! Every time I have to choose between these two I get performance anxiety and I end up taking the wrong decision. Every single time.
  • Hair is singular. Write it 100 times on the blackboard, Caterina, hair is singular! Nope, it won’t work. I will always pluralize it and say things as “my hair are curly”. In my defense, I have curls and curls coming out of my skull and treating them as one item seems reductive and also a bit offensive.

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